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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on Apr 4, 2006 15:46:44 GMT -5
Chapter 72: Devotion and Desire
(Gerard's own Words)
There was no greater feeling than the last night of Chaos. It was a great night, but it could have been much better. With that said, the word that referred to me as the Devil.
We are the only two people to understand what happened, the course of the last few weeks. If I tried to explain it to you, it just wouldn't click in your head. But I can tell you one thing, it wasn't that we hated each other, we were confused. Christine was scared, stressed, and frightened.
Walking back to the thour bus, coming into the early hours of the morning, I could see Miranda give Frank a very perculiar look. This look, however, understood by me, wasn't a very good one. Her face had shown a realization of something that wasn't promising. Frank gave back a look of understanding. "You have to tell him!" She whispered hastily to him. "Uh-uh, you're the temporary manager." He disagreed, in a low whisper. "You're his best friend!" She stated. "As are you." He said just as quiet back. "You have known him longer. Frankie please, please just do it." She begged. "Alright, when?" He asked her. We got closer to the tour bus. "As soon as possible. We're traveling tonight to get back up to New York. We should reach it around...well later tonight if you want to be technical." She glanced at her cell phone for the time. They quickened their pace and reached the tour buses before any one of us. I guess end-of-February Florida was too cold for Miranda... I was the last to get in the tour bus, Frank seated at the table, while everyone filed in to their bunks to sleep. Just as I was passing by, Frank cut me off. "Hey Gerard, I need to talk to you for a second." There were bags under his eyes, the thing Miranda suggested Frank to say must be quick. "Sure, shoot." I sat down across the table from him, an innocence of knowing nothing sounded in my voice. "Yeah, um, do you know when Christine will get out?" He said, it sounded like casual conversation. He said it also like it was a touchy subject. "Not really..." I let my sentance die out since there was no need for me to complete it. Frank sat in silence nodding his head gently. "Well, was that all, can I go to sleep?" I ran my hand through my hair. "No, actually. Well, do you realize what the next tour is?" Frank asked me. "Well sure I do..." I let my voice fade again. The next tour was in a week. "Then say it." He beckoned, watching my face realize what Miranda had gotten so flustered about. "Europe." I said. "That's a problem." He said softly. "We could always fly her to a clinic..." I started to say something, cut off by a loud thud from the bunk area and a yelp from Mikey. Frank turned his head to look, realizing that it was just Mikey falling out of his bunk, he turned back to me. "Gerard we really can't. What are we going to do? We can't just stick her in an ambulance and make that ambulance follow the van around Europe. It's our first time going to Europe, and she said we can't get a bus for it. I'm sorry Gerard." His voice was pained. "Good night Frankie." I said standing up and walking to the bunk area. The bus started up and Frankie got up and followed me to the bunk area.
Later that morning, I had awakened to the aroma of coffee. And not the coffee-pot coffee, but alas, the almighty Starbucks coffee. I had fallen asleep very fast last night, giving no thought to the discussion placed between Frank and I, I was that tired. I shuffeled out of my bunk and into the kitchen and basically the living area of the bus. There was a brilliant site, a large cup of Starbucks coffee with my name on it. I rushed to it, paying no attention to anyone around me, who were all awake already. Miranda had popped on the bus, most likely when we went to get coffee and was softly chatting away with Frank about something unknown. I opened the flap and praised the inventors of coffee. I sat down at a side couch and looked above to a storage shelf to see, still in its pink box, the hampster cage, for the hamspster I was going to buy. A gift from Secret Santa. "Good morning, Gerard." I heard Miranda say to me as she cam eover and sat next to me. "You alright?" She questioned, putting a hand on my back. "Just bummed. Don't remind me how long that tour is." I said, not really wanting to be bothered by it at all. "Well, I'm very sorry Gerard. We'll make sure you two talk everyday." Miranda said standing up. "Yeah, so where are we?" I asked, changing the subject. She peered out one of the tinted side windows. "Oh, hm, we're making good time, in Maryland, we should be there in about 2 or three hours." She stated. "Good." I was happy how fast we were going. I would be able to see her sooner. "What's made you so happy?" I could hear Miranda say, noticing the smile that I had. "Nothing really." I lied, but thinking about it again, not seeing Christine the whole Europe tour, was fair. The other guys couldn't bring their girlfriends...
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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on Apr 5, 2006 15:18:31 GMT -5
Chapter 73: Coming to Terms
(No One's Narrative)
Gerard waited the few hours on his bunk reading comics and listening to his iPod. Houdini right by his side, almost reading the comics with him. He seemed content and unmoved by the events. Mikey used his sidekick the whole time to talk to Cy, who was on the other bus while Ray and Bob played Donkey Conga in the back of the bus. Miranda and Frankie watched TV, all was boring, the wait was scrutiny.
Frank was however the first one to notice the calm surroundings of beautiful upstate New York, and the few blocks to where they were going to be for the next week. Frank ran around the bus singing, "Sweet Home Alabama." Except changing the words. Gerard perked up and rolled on his back to look outside the window next to his bunk, which showed the still bare trees, some leaves starting to develop. He remember this site so well, this was near the clinic and her cabin. Even though Gerard got an apartment in Brooklyn, they said they would spend the weekends here, if they ever got the chance to. The bus pulled into the cabin's driveway and they hoped off the bus, practically hugging the ground, happy to be where they were. Miranda unlocked the door to the cabin which a friend of theres would check up on a few times a week. Houdini scuttled inside happily and disappeared almost instantly as the guys sat down their luggage and raided the refrigerator.
However, Gerard went out the back door, heading to the path and quickly running through it to get there faster. The landscape was still as beautiful had it ever been not. He took out his cell and called the number Christine would be at if she had already arrived. He asked the receptionist if she did arrive, hearing a yes, thanking the woman, and hung up, doing a little happy dance. He wasted no time taking a picture with his phone of the view and ran back. He quickly hopped in Christine's car she left there and drove off to the clinic, which was only fifteen minutes off.
He parked, and ran up to the building. As he entered the white cleanliness gave shivers done his spine. Everything looked like it was rubber or plastic or something that could not in anyway be used for injury. The decorations were pictures of photos therapists and psychologists used on patients. To evaluate different emotions. Gerard recognized a few of them that were used on him from his therapists. He walked up to the receptionists' desk. Not sure if the old woman at it was the lady he had spoken to on the phone. He explained to her that he would like to see Christine. "Ms. Soprano? Ah yes. Room 143, but wait, sir." The beehive hair lady tilted her glasses to read a paper better and continued. "I'll need your drivers' license and you to sign in. It is New York State Policy that we must have your signature and drivers' license if you would like me to explain I would be more than happy to." The sarcasm in her voice was very noticeable. But Gerard declined her offer, he already knew why. He handed the old woman with the beehive Grey hair and leopard print blouse his drivers' license and wrote his name in a book. He took off to the direction she had pointed to, the hallway just as endless from its white appearance.
He passed whose chest was covered with a straight jacket, he was hunched as he walked, being pushed along by two very muscular guards. His eyes were blood shot, sullen, and deep dark bags laid under them. His hair tasseled and his skin flaky and flawed. Another cold shiver ran down Gerard's spine, this after all could be what Gerard could have ended up to. A therapist followed after, her dark-rimmed glasses were at the end of her nose, her hair in a tight bun and a clipboard and pen wrapped in her arms. As she passed her eyes scanned over Gerard, evaluating him. Assuming things unknown to her.
Gerard still walked on more, studying the numbers on the side of the doors as they steadily increased. The hallway bended a few times to make it feel ever more endless, until the golden numbers of '143' stood out among them all.
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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on Apr 6, 2006 19:29:02 GMT -5
Chapter 74: We lay, we lay together just not
(No One's Words)
His fist lightly tapped the locked wooden, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He knew that she didn't belong here. "Oh, just one minute!" Her voice rang out. On the other side of the door, she scrambled as quick as her body would allow her to, and adjusted a few things in her temporary room. She staggered over to the door, using the walls as a guideline and placed her palm on her side. She slipped her other hand down to her hip where the doorknob was, but unlocked one of her own locks, the rehab didn't see her as mental. She pulled the door toward her to see Gerard leaning on the other side of the hallway. A pleasant smile graced her face and he walked up to her and pulled her into a big hug. They had decided to take things very slow. "When did you get back?" She whispered, her voice a bit raspy. "I think an hour ago." He said rubbing her back, and staring at, an ink blob picture hung on the wall. They both pulled out of the hug and he helped her walk to the bed. Her suitcase was right next to the bed, and on the vanity across from the bed, she had already set up a picture, a picture from Christmas. They were both hugging, but turned to face the camera. She was wearing a Santa hat that said, 'fuck,' and Gerard's Santa hat read, 'you.' Frank had sewed them on, because he knew how. But, Gerard was on the left and Christine was on the right side of the photo, their hats, if read in a line, read the reversed, "You Fuck." She wore an over sized Taste of Chaos T-Shirt and girl pajama pants, although it was almost lunchtime. "Just wake up?" He asked her sitting next to her on the bed. "Nope, no reason to change." Was her honest reply. He glanced over to a clipboard on her wall, on it, was a schedule she was to follow. Reaching into his pocket, he took out his cell phone to view the time, it almost matched her lunchtime on the schedule. "I should get you to lunch now." He said, rising from the bed and going to help her up. "I'm not allowed to go outside of my room without a wheel chair." She nodded her head accordingly. He looked around the room, and easy to find was a silver wheelchair, that stood out from all the other decor in the room. He took the handles of the wheel chair and brought it over to her bed, helping her into it. "I feel like a fucking dope in this." She laughed, after they left her room. "Eh don't worry, better to be safe than sorry." He just kept focused on the sign that pointed to the Cafeteria. "So how's Houdini?" She asked leaning to one side of the chair. "Houdini and I hung out this morning reading comics." He turned the wheelchair around a corner. "And what's his favorite one?" She giggled, amused by her cat, whom she did miss. "Preacher, he couldn't stop attacking the pages." Gerard smiled. Finally, the double doors, opened to the just as white Cafeteria, and on one table, there were balloons, and well, everyone. "Oh my god, you so planned this?!" She turned to look at him surprised in her wheel chair. But all she saw was a just a shocked look placing itself of Gerard's face. "CHRIS-S-S-S-S-S-S-S fagot!" Miranda called out affectionately, but a little too loud. An aid in the cafeteria gave her a nasty look. Miranda ran up to the two and gave Christine a big hug. "We figured Gerard had come here." She said still clinging to Christine. "You're going to squish me!" Christine cried out laughing. After lunch had began, Gerard eyed Christine like a hawk, making sure she ate every crumb on her plate. she understood why he was pestering about it. "Come on if you don't shove it down and keep it down then I will, HM, not tell you something." Gerard said. "Well tell me, and I will." Christine said, trying not to gag as she ate. "OK, but I need to tell you privately, it's bad news." Gerard said. "I think I know what it is about, about the tour. Go on, go have fun. I promise I will get better, just to see you, because that's all I want and you know that. So shut the fuck up and...and let me eat!" She laughed. After they were finished eating Christine started to ask very hyper, and bit Gerard's finger. "Let go! C'mon!" He laughed trying to break his finger free. She shook her head, still chomping away at his finger. "I think you need to feed your girlfriend more." Frank laughed nuzzling Miranda's head. "C'mon Christine. We don't have time for this. I'll show you a picture I took earlier. Please, look, look at the TV, see? Those dudes are break-dancing for the pope!" Gerard pointed his head to a TV on the wall.(Note: HA HA MIRANDA! I TOLD YOU! :End Note) Christine turned her head but did not let go of his finger. "Ow!" Gerard remarked as his skin twisted. She finally let go and watched Gerard as he pulled back his finger. "You little vampire, stop trying to suck my blood!" He looked at the deep bite marks on his finger, which were bleeding. "But it tastes good!" She whined. "Miranda, do you have a band-aid?" Gerard asked across the table. "No, I don't- wait, why do you need a band-aid?" Miranda looked at Gerard. "She bit me!" He complained. "Shut up!" Miranda laughed and poked Frank, which made him jump. "Hey where did everyone else go?" Gerard asked, looking at the empty table. "They all took walks." Frank answered him. "Well, too bad, they're missing the Pope enjoying the break dancing." Christine chimed in.
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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on Apr 7, 2006 19:47:18 GMT -5
Chapter 75: Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner
(Christine's Point of View)
The way I loosely paid attention to things during lunch most likely brought up suspicion in Gerard. He eyed me cattily, a hawk over my head, as we rolled down the ghostly hall ways of the rehab center. My throat seared from eating, it was that feeling you get right before you throw up, except for that burning feeling of it. That burning feeling was fun to me, it was a rush, I could feel the adrenaline enter into my blood. It was sheer and exciting, and I did it over and over after a while just for that purpose and not just to feel perfect. This was not new to me, I had eating problems as a teen, seeing my father purge all the time resulted in me doing the same, but that, that disgusted me, and I could not control that. I could control this, I knew I could, but I just didn't feel the need too. However, if I resumed this sort of excitement, I would definitely kill the baby developing inside of me. There was a weird feeling coming from my gut, just knowing that, I didn't want that at all. The nurses here, as far as I've seen, clad in ugly white nurse shoes and silly hats, had already mentioned my arrival and have acknowledged that I would have to go to therapy. They believed eating disorders were a major psychological problem, when really, it is just fun, and thinking that, may just be the problem. The nurses' have also discussed Group therapy and an assistant for me, which all of this haven't been set up yet being a such a new arrival. This here were very odd, the way they were ran, the section your room was in was filled with people with similar or shared problems, the person who had come the farthest from their problem was known as the 'Motivator,' because their story was turning into a success story. Where I was, to my understanding, was known by the fellow patients here, as 'Crumbs.' In different sections there were other names, for self-inflicter's it was something like 'Gashes.' I knew all of this because of a girl that sort of greeted me to this rehab, Oasis. After a few of the nurse's settled me into my room, I had learned I needed to ask permission for use of the bathroom, since I needed to use it. They told me, they would escort me there, but just this one time they would let me go in alone, just to get my bearings. A teenage girl, who I figured afterwords to be a 'Motivator,' told me all this in there. She didn't need someone to be with her in the bathroom, she had been trusted. I kept my word and didn't do anything in the bathroom, after all I just needed to wash my face and I was quite content and just wanted to get use to my surroundings.
The wheels on the wheelchair made this squeak sound, as they wobbled through the hallways. The hallways, were not silent though, they were bustling with noise. The occasional scream erupted into the chatter, the crying, the pain that swarmed this building. The walls were white to calm, but they were just figured as white for insanity. I wasn't insane, I was just disoriented and confused. My hands would not allow themselves to move around, like usually I would do, because I always liked to talk a lot. And my nature called for using my hands to talk, that's the only way I liked to talk, with motion into my words. The one thing I liked about the hallways was a little colorful dash across the hip height, that ran through the whole wall. Since I wasn't in the mood to talk, I memorized the color pattern starting from the very beginning of the hallway. Purple. Yellow. Blue. Orange. Green. Purple. Yellow. Blue. Orange. Over and over again. I noticed no red, a common color, I once read somewhere that red causes insomnia. The silence droned on between Gerard and I, I reckoned he wanted to talk in private, since he did say to me that he wanted to speak with me. One more hallway and we would be back to room '143,' a temporary home. The noise that the wheels made seemed to get more high pitched, Gerard must have started to walk a bit faster. We turned the last corner, the pattern skipping the Green and going from Orange to Purple. Green must have not been able to fit in when the wall was being assembled.
There the golden caricatures stood out, they were polished and the light from the overhead lighting installment reflected off the numbers. My name, in a scribbled paper underneath the numbers. He kept one hand on the wheel chair as he opened the door, which had been left unlocked. He must have been afraid I'd roll away down the hallway or something. He rolled me through the doorway and right up to the bed. Silently, he put his hands underneath my arms and lifted me gently up and over to the bed. He moved the wheel chair to the same corner he found it in earlier and returned to the bed. He sat on it, causing a bigger sad then my limp body had. Small smiles tugged at both of our lips, I wasn't too drained of energy to smile for him. I scooted over closer to him and was able to lay my head on his lap. He put his fingers through my hair, twirling the natural red, over the past few months I let my purple grow out and my natural color back in. I let my eyelids sag over, and struggled to keep myself awake. His voice reopened them though, as if they were the key too.
"We need to discuss something."
That was never a good way to start a conversation, everyone knows that. I just hummed a response, too lazy to speak.
"Yeah, did the attendants here tell you anything? I mean, about your condition, well no, not that, there's something that bothered me all night."
He referred the to the nurses' as attendants. I zeroed in on the topic, I was keen to the uptake. "The baby." I let my lips move.
"Yeah, did they say the baby was alright or going to be alright?" I exhaled shortly and amused myself over how caring he was being, it was absolutely wonderful. He stroked my hair some more, his fingers were shaking, he was nervous about this. "Yeah, if I gain weight real fast in the coming weeks, the baby will be fine, I mean, there might be complications..." But I was unable to finish.
Gerard didn't need to know the rest, he understood, his eyes that looked at the vanity spoke for him.
A few moments went by, or maybe minutes, the clock on the wall seemed to go a bit slow. I felt a gentle touch on my stomach and jolted. I gave him eyes that said I was frightened, but only spur of the moment. Knowing he wouldn't ever hurt me, again, calmed me down. I was able to close my eyes and lose the battle to sleep.
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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on Apr 11, 2006 15:57:03 GMT -5
Chapter 76: Cracks in the Pavement
(Christine's Narrative)
Evaluation came the next day, the nurse woke me up for it. I had asked her to let me get myself to the wheel chair I was confined to, but she refused as if I was inept and unable to take care of myself. I just let my head rest observing the pattern streak on the white walls. The colors must symbolize something, things just didn't keep combine in repetition. I study the colors tone and the effect that I didn't feel from them more over the effect I did get. The nurse knocked on a heavily padded room, they weren't called attendants here because this was a rehab center. This was a sort of clinic, and what chain of words come to mind when you hear clinic? Doctor. Practice. Medicine. Hospital. Nurses fit in nicely too.
The nurse knocked on the door, and without noise from inside the room the door opened. I immediately made my own judgment over him, he was a bit heavy-set with a ring of Grey hair just barely clinging to the sides of his face. His glasses must have been from the 1980's and his suit was a musty brown. He held a feather pen and clipboard, like all therapists or psychiatrists. He looked like he was full of shit. The scowl on his face told me so.
Without words, the nurse wheeled me into the room, said something to the therapist and left, closing the door behind herself. The therapist paced a few steps and sat in his own recliner. I envied him, that he could do such things without anyone's help.
"Christine is it? Ah well, I'm Dr. Berk." His voice was hoarse and gruff and it was purely professional. "I'd prefer Miss Soprano, thank you." I informed him. "My apologies, we shall begin now. I will not pressure you to reveal anything, its just to let you know..." I cut him off. "All this information will only matter in this room and will not adhere elsewhere. I'm no delinquent doctor, it's been a long time since I've been a teen." I made it clear. He was not going to treat me as if I was. "I know. I just want to talk with you." He said it as if I was. "May I repeat Dr. Berk, that I'm not a teen and will not be spoken upon as one. Please refrain from that. It will make this atmosphere, much pleasant." I informed him once again. "Sorry. So get to talking then, anywhere you'd like to start." He said, he had picked his words slowly. "You're the doctor here, why don't you start with the famous ink blots, if you don't have them just take me on a stroll of the hospital, they're all over." I did make sense though. "If you would mind, I would like to rule over that. So how have you liked Oasis, since you've been here?" Obvious question. The room was just as musty as his suit. "It is alright, too white. Everyone treats me like I'm a delinquent. I just have a problem, that's all. I'm not a 16 year old girl who sees the world through burning eyes. You see, I'm quite happy now. I just want to get better, that's all." I remained calm and truthful. "Very good. Now if you don't mind, how are your relationships with people around you?" He questioned. "Is that necessary?" I retorted. "You don't have to answer it if you don't want too." The baby-ish of his voice returned. I surprised him by answering it. "I have wonderful friends who are always there for me. Especially the only person that will ever matter to me no matter what. My boyfriend, he's incredible. He's also the reason I'm in here." I stated. "Care to elaborate on that dear?" He scribbled something down in my file. Something I wanted to badly know. "Well, the last few weeks we had been involved in a most awkward fight. To us both its unclear what it was about. In those weeks I had started to induce my newly acquired eating disorder and found out I was pregnant. I was scared because I was afraid I was going to loose him forever, and that would mean, that would mean there would be no one to take care of me. I don't know how well you keep up with gossip, but almost 10 years ago my father was murdered by a man named Jake Corker, the guitarist in my fathers' band who well, raped and assaulted me. I was afraid there would be no one to fend or protect me. He loves me and that feeling is mutual. I don't think there's anything you can say to add to that word, if you love something, you will always love it." I gave a brief explanation. "Did thoughts of suicide ever occur in your mind?" He asked quite easily. "Well, to be honest with you, yes, the whole bulimia thing started out as a way to feel perfect, I felt that the way he was treating me like a baby because I wasn't perfect. Soon it turned to the well-known escape route, and I completely lost that, I did it for fun, theres an excitement in it." I told him. "What is your boyfriends name?" He questioned. A silly question. "Gerard Way, he's in a band and he's coped with an alcohol and drug addiction, purely clean now. I'm the band's manager." It wasn't so hard to talk. "He's been to therapy?" He asked. "He's still in it technically, he has two therapists." I played with a few buttons on the wheel chair. "Do you get aches and pains? How have you been sleeping?" "I do get some aches, I think it might be from sitting still the last few weeks. Oh and sleeping, that's been weird. I can sleep for three days and be up for 5. Or just be completely awake one minute and fall flat asleep the next." "How long ago did you wake up this morning?" What a very odd question. "Right before I came here, and I'm really, energized." I supported what I felt. "Can you tell me about my father?" There was that question. I looked at Dr. Berk with a few moments with incredulous eyes. "M-my father?" I barely said it. "Please." He added. "Oh, how could I not love him? He was a genius, a friend, a drunk, a rock star, but during my child hood he was never a father. I was exposed to things you don't learn until health classes in high school. Only until the band dispersed for a few years did he start acting as half a one. I loved him, I loved his spirit, his creativity, his mind. But he never saw through! He never saw what went on, and I knew I could every day but I waited until I had run away to tell him. To tell him what had been done to me. My father had been fucked up ever since my mom had left. She left become to Jake. Jake he's the one whose fucked me up!" I cried. "There, there." He held up a tissue box, something the room was littered with. I pushed it away and sat sobbing. "We are done, I will compose this session and hopefully later today I will have news for you." He rolled his chair back behind his oak desk. Pressing a dial on his phone he called back the nurse to take me to my room.
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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on Apr 30, 2006 17:28:56 GMT -5
Chapter 77: Poem to the Dead (Creative Spirits Equal Creative Deaths)
(Christine's Narration)
After the nurse came she brought me to the cafeteria and stood over me as I ate, which was very nerving to me. She made me feel like I was doing something wrong or she was suspicious of me. I didn't like her one bit, and I hoped that the feeling was felt by us both. After watching the nurse, watch me, I busied myself while easting breakfast, to a little bird being taught how to fly. The memories of my tutors explaining this to me came back and I smiled. I watched as the Mother Bird lifted off the branch setting an exampled for the little bird. It was awfully early for a baby bird, since it was still nippy out. The little bird hobbled on the branch a bit before it stretched its little wings. It leaped from the branch and flapped its wings and gently descended to the ground. Where it chirped for its mother. How would it be to just fly and soar away from it all?
Wheeling back to my room, the nurse I hated was called to the front desk, saying I had a visitor. There was no other doubt in my mind for who it could of been. He did, after all, promise to visit me everyday until they left. He was smiling, leaning against the receptionists' desk by the time I arrived. His smile was gleaming, and lightened up my spirits. The nurse who had rolled me, had disappeared quickly, just as much as I wanted her too leaving Gerard to roll me to where my heart desired. "Hey darling." He said, taking off from the desk to greet me. He bent low to me and gave me a hug. Gerard and I were going to take things slow. We weren't in any need for rushing anything. "Did you eat breakfast." He asked as we pulled out of the embrace. "Just came from it." I smiled. "Peppy today?" He asked, grabbing the handles of my wheelchair. "I had to go to the therapist dude before breakfast. damn, I believe you now, they are scary. I actually bawled my eyes out."
"Oh and what did he say?"
"He said he's going to have my evaluation later on in the day. Hey, wait, where are we going?" I grabbed the arm rests of the chair. "Every rehab has a 'Rec' room." He said. "But, you don't know where this recreational room is." I told him.
"Yeah but we will find it, eventually of course. No rush." He went down a hallway that was marked, 'Activities.' "I'm tired." I yawned. "You were just like hyper a minute ago." He stated. "So, doesn't mean I'm hyper now." I snapped at him. My eyelids drooping over my eyes. I didn't look at the pattern on the wall, it was too blurry and gave me a headache every time I went to look at it. So I looked on the ink blots on the walls. in between a few ink blots were posters that gave 'encouraging' messages. "You know it would take less time to get there if I walked." I said out loud. "But you're too weak too." He said back to me. I shook my head negatively and pounced up from the wheel chair. I wanted to be that goddamn little bird. He obviously stopped the wheelchair and ran over to where I had grabbed the wall. "You...are...one....crazy...person." He laughed, trying to make fun of this whole situation. "And what am I supposed to say about that?" I quickly retorted. "So when you're tired you become bitchy?" He remarked. "So now, I'm bitchy?" I wheezed, he got me back into the chair. "No, you're just are having a lot of mood spasms." "Ya for me!" I sarcastically said. It was quite for the next few moments until he turned into the assumed Rec room.
Inside of it, canvas' on top of easels, desks, computers, board games, TV's, books, and many more activities were all waiting for use. "Artist Heaven!" I exclaimed excitedly. Even more ink blots were in this room.
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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on May 1, 2006 15:39:37 GMT -5
Chapter 78: Oh it's been so hard, living with the things you do to me (Miranda's Narration)
I didn't think it was the fair that I was the only one going to Europe with the guys. Nevertheless, I was the Assitant Manager, and since Christine was unstable too, all responsibilty on me! A There was a big heave all of our chests the day that Gerard and Christine had that very long talk and things had gotten much better. There was no more tension and no more odd feelings. They had all been drained. The happy lives we each had before had just kicked back into high gear.
As for the life Frank and I shared, since we considered it that way, it wasn't any greater then any possible way it could be. I swear, everytime I looked at him, my heart went weak and the joy just looking at him gave me such an ectasy.
Some days you just have to raise a level of awareness to the people that are around you. If you never do, they're always going to just be there. There's always a routine to life, how you take your coffee, the jokes you share with the ones you love, and every quirk in between. Love is the same way, when you love someone it is the most powerful feeling because it absolutely shows how they've adapted into your life. If you're routine has a thought of them throughout the day, you need to see them to breathe, you are in love. If everyday is not enough for you then you could always resort to every waking heart beat. And it was so nice to have Frank stay over while we weren't being bothered by anyone on tour or for help. We were just doing what we had always done the whole time we knew each other, nothing but the pure 'ritual' of love.
I had been speaking to Ray about Ariel the last fews days. He wasn't sure whether to propose to her the moment we would be boarding the plane or the moment we landed. I had told him that she would feel heartbroken being asked as we were leaving. Her heart would ache because she wouldn't see him for such a long time. I told either as we get back or since we do have a few days off, that he could surprise her. He gave me a giant hug.
Frank had allowed me to spend less time with him this week. He told me it was my last week in the states for a month, so I should enjoy it with my friends. Ariel, Lauren, and Cy were all jealous of me, and I bet Christine was too.
Although I did spend most of the remainder days with the girls, the nights I always curled up to Frank. He was always either re-reading Harry Potter, watching tv or a movie, or being the pansy himself and envolving himsel in sewing patchs on to his guitar straps or jackets. Houdini, the cat, was going to stay with Cy, while we were away. If Christine was to get out of rehab before we got back and was capable, she would be caring for Houdini. That cat has a very spoiled life. Although I did get to spend time with the girls, it was very short spurts, since they wanted to spend every moment with their boys. That usually left me at home with Frank, which I didn't mind at all, having privacy for once was nice.
The second day back Frank and I were snuggling together on the couch when he gave me something. A patterened little golden ring with the words "I Promise Love, Always and Forever" inscribed in the inside. "A Promise ring." He said, as he flashed the one around his finger. He slid it onto my ring finger and kissed it. "There's no need to explain what it means, for you, I do everything out of love." He said. "Aw, so are so cheesy!" I had said back to him, I was so happy I got choked up with tears.
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Post by ♥morgueresident♥ on May 15, 2006 18:12:20 GMT -5
Chapter 79: Epilogue
Several months from this very own, you would come to see a waddling girl, a better weight, very pregnant. She would spend endless hours staring into the eyes that recaptured her every time. She would spend all her hours without him, lying solitary on her bed, her hands protectively over her stomach, and daydreaming as to what could be happening and the potential the future held. The mutual feeling shared between them could be harnessed in so easily a display of intimacy.
On one of these days, where she was sent to daydream prison, a sharp pain in her stomach and the certain phrase being so her water breaking sent her to speed dial on her phone. She put the phone to her ear, her eyes wide with panic, and her voice exasperated. "This isn't supposed to happen!" She cried over on the phone. He comforted her, telling her to call an ambulance and the only possible way for him to be there was to meet her at the hospital. Despite her state of panic she managed to carry out the demands she was given and safely got to the hospital. She smiled as she was wheeled into the Immediate Waiting Room to find her exhausted and excited eternity waiting for her. As they filled out admittance papers, stopping every so often for a contraction paper, he never once let go of her sweating hand. Finally she was wheeled on her stretcher to a Delivery Room, while the love of her life sat by her the whole entire time, already in a delivery gown, cap, and sanitary rubber gloves. While the doctor checked her dilation, the news that she was ready, was told to her, along with a warning that her baby would be premature. She stole a glance to her love's passionate hazel eyes, and he gave her a nod of his approval. "Yes." She panted, "Yes, we're ready for this."
They passed lights over head as she was yet again wheeled to the actual Delivery Room. The Doctor and the Nurses, all in their attire prepared the mother as she practiced her breathing exercises from her Lamaze classes.
Premature births come with many complications usually. This one, paid with the price of death. It was destined in the stars that a great tragedy would loom over this young girl's life. A simple illegitimate tarot card reading would come out with the same destiny.
All breaths were held as the final push and moment to completely deliver the baby held over. No earthly cry came from baby inside the doctors arms, as his eyebrows held high in his forehead. The nurse he would hand the baby to stood with a fluffy blue towel and a fluffy pink towel in each hand, her eyes stood in inquiry.
The man the girl loved turned his head to her, he knew she didn't know because he knew. He knew why there was the only empty sounds in the room, why she was panting so heavy and looking for answers. It seemed for eternity until the Doctor handed the baby to the nurse, who didn't bother choosing a correct towel to indicate the baby's gender. The nurse called over the man as she set the bundle down in a makeshift cradle. "I'm so sorry, this is such an unfortunate tragedy." Her voice held all the sorrow and grief, even having not known any of them. "D-does she know?" The sympathetic nurse asked. "No, I-I don't know who should...should...say it." It was hard for him to complete it, these months of longing to see the beautiful face developing in the one that he love's stomach's mind was crumbling. It was deteriorating from the shock, a ragged and aged feeling that hung lowly in his mind as well as his gut. "I'll do it for you, I know what she wants to hear, it happened to me too." The wrinkles around the nurse's eyes showed a lost mother's grief. The one the man expected to see on her face.
Christine's baby girl was dead.
Mikey, Bob, Ray, Ariel, Frank, Miranda, Lauren, Cy, were all in the waiting room. Amused smiles on their faces for the miracle they expected had happened. Ariel happily played with her engagement ring, thinking of her future with Ray as Lauren cuddled with Bob, tired from not getting much sleep last night. Mikey and Frank looked extremely happy. Cy sat on Mikey's lap. However Miranda, even with the smile on her own face, didn't feel quite right. She was connected on an almost mind-reading level with Christine, as to almost feel Christine's grief, she hadn't had all her hopes high.
The swinging doors opened, a low hung sunken head of Gerard's filed out. Frank giddily jumped from the chair and ran up to Gerard, while the others just noticed his presence. Gerard, would not look up until Frank lifted his chin to look at him. "Gerard?" He asked, a smile fading from his face. Miranda had come over now. "Oh, oh no." She barely let out the trembling whisper, before she ran out quickly through the doors Gerard had entered from. "Gerard, please..." Frank swallowed and his worriment rose when Miranda had left. "Tell me..." He finished. The others finally caught on to the lumbering of heavy emotion violently fired into the room. Mikey was now next to Frank, Cy behind a few steps along with Lauren and Ariel, who were all too scared to do something. Ray and Bob joined along standing next to Mikey and Frank. "Not, even 9 months...but, who knew? I-I mean, there will be nothing, you can all...return the baby shower gifts. We won't be needing them." Gerard had sunken his head low again, only to hide the amount of pain his tears carried down his face. The tears were little message carriers, only to never get their meaning fully through before they fell off course. "Oh God." Mikey gasped, bewildered and torn at the loss he even felt. "A-a-and Christine?" Bob stuttered. "Being told now." Gerard said, Ariel shook her head from hearing. She locked arms with Cy and Lauren and pulled them through the same doors as Miranda had left through.
-Finished-
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Post by REWREW on Mar 27, 2007 22:29:58 GMT -5
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